I met with a minister today. I guess I need to know what's on the other side. I'm worried that I'll know I'm gone and I will be able to see Greg mourn. She scared me when she we are born alone and we die alone. I don't want to be alone. My moods are all over the place. From fear to anger and now jealousy. Jealous that people are able to go on with their lives, plan vacations, complain about their sports team losing a game. All while I am scared of dying. They get to walk away. I don't.